Humor doesn’t always translate well from one language to another, especially in subtitles, and maybe even more so in German. However, to Porsche fans and those of us familiar with Porsche’s push to “green” technology, the humor should come across loud and clear in the video below (if you’re email program isn’t showing the video, simply click on the title of the post to watch it on our site).
Humor aside, the creator of this pedal powered Porsche has done a masterful job recreating the look and feel of the real thing. Check out this impressive slide show to see the build process and the attention to detail involved (some email programs may not show the slide show. Again, simply click on the title of this post and you will be able to see it on our site. It’s worth it!).
The article below was first published last year in Total 911 Magazine. I had always meant to share it with all of you but for some reason it never got posted. Well, that changes today. Any other “virgins” out there?
Usually, if it’s fast, then it’s for me. Ever since I can remember I’ve been fascinated with speed. Fast cars. Fast food. Fast wome…(you get the idea); hence, a good portion of my passion for Porsche explained. Even still, the allure of Motorsport has always eluded me (much to my surprise and chagrin). That is until recently.
Prior to this past January [2009 that is] my exposure to motorsport has always consisted of trying to hide my ignorance with regard to race results and the proper spelling of the term: Is it motorsport or motorsports? Racing was the land of alphabet soup – I’m talking about acronyms like SCCA, ALMS, NASA, IMSA, etc. – and exotic vehicular vocabulary that required a specialized dictionary just to follow along. I would show up to my local PCA event eager for an evening of socializing with a group of like minded people. However, as soon as the talk turned to, “did you see so and so do such and such?” at whatever race was currently being discussed, my eyes would glaze over and I’d look for the closest bar, waiter or exit (in that order). Not only did I not know what was being discussed, I simply wasn’t interested. Hell, at least if you watched NASCAR you might see some awesome crashes (anyone who tells you they don’t watch NASCAR for the crashes is obviously lying).
I don’t know where my indifference came from. All the elements were there, fast cars, fast food, fast women (and I mean this literally as the amount of female drivers has jumped dramatically in recent years). Regardless, Porsche motorsports just couldn’t hold my interest. It was like watching paint dry. Or, even worse, golf.
All that changed this winter in Florida when I made my first trip, some might call it a pilgrimage, to the 24 Hours of Rolex at the Daytona International Speedway. I don’t really know why I went, something simply came over me. I was living in Florida for the winter and Daytona was only a few hours north. It seemed like the thing to do and a great way to kill a weekend. For those of you that have never experienced Daytona, it combines a storied track with the fastest Porsches on the planet, celebrity drivers and a carnival like atmosphere (literally, there’s a carnival there too).
Thanks to some friends at Guardian Angel Motorsports I was able to get my greasy hands on “hot-pit” passes that allowed me not only into the paddocks, but into the actual pits before, during and after the race. This type of access alone would probably convert most non believers. If it doesn’t, then motorsports are probably not for you. Not only are you inches from the action, you are part of it. Wandering around in the garage and paddock area affords you the opportunity to get up close and personal with the cars and crews of your favorite racing team not to mention rubbing elbows with the likes of Wolf Henzler, Patrick Long, Hurley Haywood, Darren Law, David Donohue and Joerg Bergmeister; just to name a few.
Did I mention the sound? If one of the things that put you in a Porsche in the first place was that exceptional exhaust note then get yourself to a race and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. There is nothing like a sport that can be heard long before it can be seen. The screams of joy howling from the power plants of the P1 and GT class cars are an assault to the senses the likes of which I never before experienced. I’ve been to track days with my local club(s) and even had the good fortune to drive some pretty impressive and acoustically active Porsches (1960 RS 60, 1973 Carrera RS, 1997 Turbo S, etc.) all of which did nothing to prepare me for this aural event. The cacophony from this chorus of cars will literally vibrate your body from head to toe. Note to self, buy ear-plugs for next race, you’ll still be able to hear just fine.
Now, here we are a few months later and no longer do I look for the nearest exit or closest adult beverage when a discussion on racing begins. In fact, you are more than likely to find me in the thick of things, holding my own and eager to show off my new found knowledge and fascinating stories from my most recent race experiences (Daytona, Sebring, a Koni Challenge race at Homestead-Miami International, etc.).
Did you know that Joerg Bergmeister and I have the same watch? He told me so himself when we met for the first time – subtly implying that we’ve met more than once (gotta love those hot-pit passes). Unfortunately, it’s not a Rolex Daytona!!
I forget what silly reality TV show I was watching when I heard the line, “Wow! What a coincidence, your eyes are the same color as my Porsche!” Thinking back I’m pretty sure the line was followed by the sound of someone choking on their beer while simultaneously invoking the universally known posture of “talk to the hand”. I’m fairly certain this little scene involved someone named “The Situation” and possibly a girl called “Shnooky” but I might be mistaken. If you’re not familiar with these cultural references, don’t worry, not only are you better off not knowing, I included a video below that’s along the same lines but might be more your speed.
Anyway, after dredging up memories nightmares of Joey Carrera (and friends), I started wondering, just how many ways has Porsche been worked into pick-up lines. A little Google research and before you could say “single for life” I had a short list of Porsche related pick-up lines. I present them here for you to do with them as you will. However, be warned, I make no guarantees that these lines will work for you. In fact, if you are daring stupid enough to use them, I would suggest bringing a dry shirt to change into after the recipient of said line chokes on their drink and spits it out all over you.
Porsche Pick-up Lines
Social work is such a meaningful worthwhile work that I’ve decided to sell my Porsche and give up my lucrative law practice to join you!
Pardon me, do you have room in your purse for the keys to my Porsche?
Excuse me, but could I borrow your cell phone? I locked mine in my Porsche along with my Olympic Gold Medal, and I need to call my helicopter pilot to come pick me up.
It’s a good thing I’ve got a Porsche, ’cause you’ve got some dangerous curves.
While more of a pick-up “technique” vs. “line”, this one comes from some resourceful desperate soul on the internet: I would park outside a club and once I started to chat up some worthy woman, I would reach in my pocket and hit the panic button on my alarm remote. I would do this several times over the course of several minutes. Before long someone from outside would come in and tell the DJ. The DJ would of course announce, “Does anyone here own a Porsche Turbo? Your alarm keeps going off.” Having not mentioned my car to the woman I was talking to, I would turn and say, “That sounds like my car.” Without fail, the women would respond, “You own a Porsche?”…
Are there more Porsche Pick-up Lines Floating Around?
The lines and stories above are what my exhaustive and scientific research found. Do you know of any others? Better yet, have you ever used one? If so, we want to hear your story.
We’ve been watching The Price is Right for at least 25 + years and in all that time neither one of us can remember a Porsche as a prize – although it is possible we missed an episode or two. Earlier this week a contestant had the opportunity to win a 2010 Porsche Boxster (along with some cash and a trip) in the Showcase Showdown. His bid of $58,500 (for the Porsche, $1000 in cash and a trip to Vegas) seemed spot on, maybe even a bit low. Watch what happens below (if you’re receiving this via email you may have to click through to the site to see the video).
That’s right, he over-bid by ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FOUR BUCKS!!! What’s worse is the kid next to him won his prize and didn’t even seem to know it until Drew let him in on it. Let us on the show, we’ll definitely win!!!
UPDATE: It appears we did miss an episode! Thanks to Max from Facebook for the info. Watch the video below (it gets interesting about 1:45 minutes in).
Twas the night before Christmas, where all through the shop
Not an engine was leaking, not even a drop.
The tires were filled to their max PSI,
In hopes that dreaded flat spots won’t appear where they lie.
The drivers were warm, all snug on the couch,
Playing driving games in earnest so their skills would not slouch.
With batteries slowly charging from electricity on tap,
The Porsches were prepared for their long winter’s nap.
When from beyond the garage there arose such a roar,
I sprang from my PS3 to the polished concrete floor.
A click of a button and the garage doors did raise,
I looked out into the dark my mind in a haze.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to the objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Porsche Turbo for a gift, “is this a joke?” I did fear!
With a tap of the pedal the exhaust note sounds,
I knew in a moment a flat six had been found.
More rapid than a cheater in a Nissan GT-R,
With a new Porsche Turbo I know I’ll go far.
Now Doctor! Now Hoffman! now, Carlson and Butzi!
On, Elford! On, Patrick! on, David and Hurley!
To the start of the race! we’re off to the “Ring”!
Through the corners and chicanes this Turbo we’ll fling.
If we meet with an obstacle, forced air is induced,
Nothing feels quite the same as that twin turbo boost.
Around and around the “ring” we did go,
By holding the line we were anything but slow.
Lap after lap the tarmac flew past,
We knew from the start we’d never be last.
My foot on the gas, I’m ready to shift,
If you find the apex there’s no need to lift.
As we round the last corner the checkered flag in site,
This unfair race wasn’t even a fight.
The marshals guide us toward victory lane,
Where once again Podium is Porsche’s to gain.
Up upon the highest platform we stand,
Taking the win in Porsche’s homeland.
Time to go home, put the Turbo in gear,
We turn up the radio for all to hear.
The speakers are blaring as we drive out of sight, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
Written on November 19th, 2009 at 12:22am by 993C4S
Talk about buried treasure! The picture below was snapped by Asylum blogger Elizabeth Brady. Ms. Brady was fortunate unfortunate enough to be in Cape Hatteras, N.C. last week during Hurricane Ida. When I first saw the picture below I thought it was Jeremy Clarkson bashing on Porsche again, but it seems this Cayman was just an unfortunate victim of Mother Nature.
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. I had always meant to share it with all of you but for some reason it never got posted. Well, that changes today. Any other “virgins” out there? 
